When my aunt was working at CARE, in a meeting they had with some NPO, she brought forth the subject of incest in the Maldives. After the meeting Nasrina condemned my aunt for bringing up the subject. Apparently airing the nation's dirty laundry was a big no no! That explains why most social workers are silent about such issues.

Most of my mates back in Aminiya were victims of incest. What's scary is some girls believe it's the norm! Other girls desperately want to be rescued but they are afraid to expose family members. You know how Maldivians are... not very sympathetic towards sexual abuse (or any kind of abuse). I know a mate whose mum refused to believe that her step dad was raping her. She was in such denial that she asked my mate to go live with her dad!

Several years ago a distant cousin molested two of my cousins. When he was discovered my aunts wanted to crucify him, but my grandma refused. To this day he is allowed to visit our house and no-one would dare go against grandma's wishes. Fucked up or what!

Forget the dart boards and billiard tables in the so-called youth center in Male'. What the youth need are help centers with proper resources that'd enable them to battle things like incest.

i personally know 2 girls who were each molested by a 'family friend'. one girl was just 6 years old and the other one was 9. they still tell the story to their closest friends, but nope, no action was taken by any of them even when they did tell their parents when they were much younger. such a shame.

don't forget, there are women who molest young boys too...

Thank you for bringing up the subject.
In most cases it is not incest but rape. Incest is when they are willing partners. Most of the time the child is young and so the act has to be considered as rape and sexual assault.
I was raped by my grand father and my brother.
Since i studied this subject more after i grew up and had an education, I have found out that this is very common in Islamic society. Islamic societies refuse to address rape by family members and paedophilia.

u r correct. i like the way u said that. i'm with ur side. me too hav proof of wat u said.keep it up bro

Quite sometime ago I got hold of court documents about a case that involved a father who molested his teen daughter. From what I could gather from the documents both the father and daughter were prosecuted for "ziney"!! This is the sad state of affairs in our country.

Also, I personally know a couple of girls who were molested by family or family friends when they were kids. In every case when the parents found out they chose to keep it hidden and not talk about it. Some of these girls have grown up unable to enjoy any kind of sexual relationship because of what was done to them. Their only "help" is talking to understanding friends. We need to provide these girls with professional help so that can try to put this behind them and live a normal life.

rape and sexual vicitmisation is part of a culture and tradition Maldives is!.. cant help it.. but can help the future.. VOICE IT! we need a few more generations to vipe it out (cant ever wipe it out entirely.. its an animal thing... the bad is always existant)..
i dont like capital punishment per say.. but crimes like these deserve nithing less.

I know of several brothers and sisters who have had long lasting sexual relationships, not just 2 or 3 time things.

A bit late for this comment, but this is when I found your blog. You urged those doing psychology and child care workers to come forward. I think having the system we do back home, with no respect for the client, no confidentiality, and where victims of sexual crimes are ridiculed (thereby raped twice emotionally), I think it's perhaps not a fault of the psychologists or other health professionals that they haven't come forward with the issue. I am not excusing the silence, just that there are reasons that are legitimate that health workers may not come forward. What you are doing is not always possible when you work in the Maldivian counselling or psych related services. The anonymity of the client, the confidentiality and the care of the client has to be considered before everything else, and in our society things regarding sexual abuse is worse than most other societies i know of, and have been to, but something of this nature has approached on a broader sense with respect to other aspects and the context. I agree that sexual abuse, incest, rape and all other sexual crimes need to be talked about openly. I am also aware that we have a system that needs changing in that area, and the work conditions are not at best supportive of the clients nor the professionals involved in the associated jobs. Awareness is an important step in the change process, but blaming the psychologist involved without considering the other factors is not going to make things any better. We are trying to make a difference - I think so at least.

besides how many trained counsellors or psychologists do we have? I am inclined to think that a little knowledge is dangerous in this case regarding untrained counsellors -

I know many girls (very rarely boys) who have been victims...It is common in the islands...Specially from grand parents...I know many islands and many people involved,from H.A Ihhavandhoo,H.Dh Hanimaadhoo,K.Male',N.Kendhikulhudhoo,K.Kaashidhoo.

In Male',Students coming from Islands face the same problem (its not relatives actually...but the girls see the bosses or house owners-who are most of the time a friend of their parents-to be relatives.they call them 'beybe'.)One incident happened in MAle':
I would like to give name aslo..because i hate these yuk people!M.Hyacinth , the only girl in that house have married to this guy who does that.This guy does it to every girl who comes to take care of thier children and study...So far..only one girl had the guts to reveal the truth...she told the whole story on the road...but no reaction...she left that house and now lives in another house.

One of the worst case i have seen is in kaashidhoo,where a Man (all his children are girls)keeps an extra window from the master bedroom to where the children sleep...and every one in the island knew that he was goin through that window.And finally one of his children (a young teen aged girl) gave birth to a child.And still after that ...still(well...the last time i went there also) this man is living happily with his children.His house is almost opposite to one of the Island chief's house.No one is worried about it...i believe he still does that.And there is another man who have a shop and his shop's counter is a bit high (higher than normal)...he is a 'metaa dhey kaafa' to most children...many have seen him in the act...but no one ever have reported anything about him.Many of the stories i have heard directly from the victims reveal a basic fact, that these incidents are never related for the fear of how the society will react to it.They cant trust any one to keep it secret...they fear the maldivians for their famous 'talent' of name-calling and mockery.They feared to reveal it when they were young...because nobody will believe them...even if they believe..would Mother do anything to her father?...no..and the other thing is that talking about sex withing the family is taboo in this society.But there are exceptions.I have read of a guy killing his father for molesting his daughter...

things will change when our thinking change...the role of the journalists (and bloggers aswell) in bringing social change is very important.we need to take this issue seriously...as for those counsellors...some counsellors i know;needs counselling-for themselves- very urgently...

And some more stories of a very close friend....she was molested by her grand dad...he asks her to 'do this and that' when she goes to him to feed ...this continued till that animal died.And after that,it was the 'Edhurube' (local Quran teacher in the island)...and then it was a family friend..still this guy is a family friend..ive tried to get involved and give this guy a lesson....but it seems...victims
fear the society..too much..

and (in the same island) there were others attcked by brothers, by rashu ofees piyoanu...and others..

There was this young boy who was molested by expatriate labourers in Male'...then he enjoyed it and have 'attacked' many young children (a girl as young as 5 years also)...one day i caught him and scolded him...and her brothers came and attacked him...but the other day ..i saw that little girl out with him (in and abandaned room inside a house...) again...the problem this time is ..her parents dont take gud care of their children.when i talked to my parents and when they told it to their parents....the answer was...well...they were only yelling at that boy.